So here is a little prego humor...take it with a grain of salt and don't be offended :)
10. So are you going to have him natural? You could do it you know! OR Where are you going to have him?
What I wanted to say: "I am having him in a hospital with lots of drugs. I am not a hippy."
What I actually said: "I am having him in a hospital with lots of drugs."
9. Are you having twins?
What I wanted to say: "No, jerk."
What I actually said: "No" To which they replied, "Are you sure?"
8. You are huge! I mean huge!
What I wanted to say: "Thanks for the uplifting compliment, jerk. That is just what every pregnant women wants to hear."
What I actually said: Nothing. I just smiled and walked away.
7. So is the nursery ready yet? - this was ok the first 30 times.
What I wanted to say: "We have decided against the whole nursery thing."
What I actually said: "Not yet, but we are getting there."
6. Hey fatty!
What I wanted to say: "Now that is not nice."
What I actually said: "Hi."
5. Do you need to sit? You should sit.
What I wanted to say: "Thanks, Dr. but I will sit when I want to....I am not handicap you know."
What I actually said: "Really, I am fine."
4. How come you waited 10 years to have kids?
What I wanted to say: "I really don't like kids and I have had thoughts of locking them in the basement and sliding pancakes under the door to them."
What I actually said: "Fertility problems."
3. Are you sure you are not having twins? (When asked this I had only gained 11 lbs.)
What I wanted to say: "I have only gained 11 lbs when most people have gained 20 by now, but thanks for the jerky comment."
What I actually said: "Only having one."
2. You know you really should take it easy. When are you coming to pick my apricots?
What I wanted to say: "I am sick of people forgetting I am 8 months pregnant and asking me to do chores for them."
What I actually said: "Um, I am 8 months pregnant and getting up on ladders and bending down is quite difficult."
1. Have you had your baby yet? I thought for sure he would be here by now!
What I wanted to say: "Thanks for reminding me that no, I have not had him yet and I am still pregnant. I want this kid out of me."
What I actually said: "Not yet, still pregnant."
Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. And yes all of this and more was said to me, usually more than once....sometimes 5 times a day! Luckily, I do not offend easily and it gave me a chuckle.